7 Ways For Busy Moms To Make Time For Self-Care

Trying to make time in the middle of your mom life is like trying to catch a mirage when you’re overheating in the desert. It always seems just out of reach.

So instead of trying to obtain what seems unobtainable, we settle for less and call it balance. But what does balance actually mean?

Webster’s dictionary has nine definitions for balance. Only in the English language can one word have so many meanings.

It’s kind of like the word Mom. Sometimes it means owie kisser or bedtime snuggler. Other times it means chef or chauffeur.

Like the word Mom, balance means different things in different seasons. During motherhood, Webster’s definition number nine, “mental and emotional steadiness,” seems to be the area where most of are lacking.

There never seems to be enough time for essentials like showering and clean clothes, let alone self-care and nurturing a marriage.

A lot of people believe balance is about making equal time for every area of your life, but that’s not what steadiness is about. It’s a regular, even, and continuous development.

And sometimes that means focusing on an area that’s lacking for a season while you maintain the areas that are already thriving.

So how do you make more time to focus on mom without letting everything else fall away completely? You have to intentionally make a plan to pursue it.

These seven practices have helped me carve out time in the messy middle of motherhood, while still allowing me to maintain a steady rhythm in the other areas of my life.

1. Create Self-Care Rhythms

Creating rhythms and routines for things like dishes and laundry has been the number one time saver I’ve been able to implement in our home. Instead of always trying to catch up with our household chores, I schedule them in, so they aren’t piling up.

This works with self-care too. Set a time every week, and little windows each day, when you pencil yourself into your schedule. That way, no matter how out of control the day gets, you know you have this time to look forward to.

For me, it’s a bath after everyone else is in bed. I light a couple candles, add some epsom salt and lavender essential oils to the water, and grab a book.

Creating routines for your daily tasks as well as rhythms for the morning and evening, allows you to stop spending precious brain power on fretting about the mundane and frees you to focus on the things that deserve your attention.

If you want to read more about practical ways to implement life-giving rhythms and routines, check out this post:

5 Best Time Management Tips For Moms

2. Use Your Mornings Wisely

The most intentional time I schedule all day is in the early morning. I savor the first precious moments of calm and quiet before the rest of the house wakes.

My first minutes are devoted to Bible study and prayer because I’ve learned that the best way to cover yourself in grace is by giving God your first fruits. Then I write down something I’m thankful for and speak truth over myself.

I’ve found that by starting my day with gratitude and hope, my mindset is in alignment with my heart, and I’m much more likely to believe that I can overcome the hard things.

After my quiet time, I do my most important tasks for the day because if there’s something that needs doing, I’ve found that I’d better do it before life gets in the way.

3. Limit Distractions

Check your average screen time on your phone, and challenge yourself to cut it down by 20 minutes. Then reward your efforts by reassigning that time to do something that fills you up.

It’s easy in our tech obsessed world to lose ourselves in social media and mindless surfing, especially when we carry the internet around in our pockets.

A quick tap to check our notifications turns into half an hour of wasted time. Thirty minutes here and there add up to hours of our lives. Hours that we’ve spent checking in on the lives of other people when we could’ve spent that time with the people living under our own roof.

4. Take Advantage Of Down Times

For years, nap time was my sanity saver.

Even now, though my older boys don’t nap, I still enforce a quiet time because everyone benefits from a midday break.

Sometimes I work, sometimes I read, and sometimes I just unwind with Netflix. This is when I regroup so I’m not monster mommy during the evening witching hour, so I do whatever fills me most that day.

5. Set Boundaries And Learn To Say No

Setting healthy boundaries helps other people know and respect your priorities. This includes your husband and kids.

In order to give your best to the ones you love, sometimes you have to say no.

No to a last minute trip to Gram’s house because everyone else wants to swim when mom scheduled a pedicure.

No to having your husband’s co-workers for dinner when you’re suffering from fatigue.

No to your own guilt when everyone is disappointed by your decision to set a boundary line.

Too often we agree to something because we want to please someone else, but our heart isn’t in it and we don’t give one hundred percent, diminishing the blessing we intended to give anyway. There’s no shame in an honest, gentle no, given with gratitude.

Don’t live your life tethered to other people’s demands and expectations. The only person who can choose how you spend your time is you.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” 

Annie Dillard

5. Go For A Walk

Sometimes you’re in a season when you just don’t have any margin. And that’s okay. You can still find some peace with your kiddos tagging along.

My best tip in these full seasons of life, is to take a walk. The fresh air will soothe your soul, and your kids can expend some of that energy that keeps them bouncing off the walls.

Sometimes a walk will even buy you a few minutes of peace and quiet once you get home, and everyone else is worn out!

6. Embrace Simplicity

No matter where you are on your motherhood journey, these steps will help you make the most of the time you have. But if you want to make MORE time, you have to simplify your life. We all have the same 24 hours in our day. Where we differ is on how we spend them.

The hard truth is that when we say we have no time for something, what we’re really saying is that it’s not important enough to make time for. And sadly, the things we aren’t making time for are usually the things that mean the most to us.

We waste our days in the never-ending cycle of chores and to do lists, exhausting our energy cleaning up toys that our kids don’t even play with, and spending countless hours folding laundry and cleaning dishes.

The answer to this dilemma is as simple as it is complex – own fewer things.

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

henry david thoreau

Minimalism helped me stop exchanging my life for things that weren’t moving me toward the legacy I want to leave behind.

7. Just Wing It

Sometimes our best intentions just aren’t enough and life happens. On those days you have to do the best you can with what you’re given.

One of my go-tos is listening to an audiobook while I do the dishes. Or I’ll catch up on Call The Midwife while I fold laundry.

They may not be alone times, but they’re still moments to breathe.

Mom life is an incredible calling. Do it justice by taking care of yourself, so you can bless your family with the gift of a present, purposeful wife and mama.

But don’t forget to give yourself grace.

None of us are perfect. Do what you can, when you can, and don’t hold yourself up to someone else’s standard of what your life should look like.

Life is short and you only get to live it once. Make the most of it, mama!

I’d love to hear your tips and tricks to make time for self-care. Leave a comment and let me know.

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